I write and nap as my daughter naps, after a day of riding the Gulf waves, up and down, up and down, into the soft, white sand of the beach, to arrive with joy and stand where drip castle creations slowly fold back into the sea.
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Blog entries
Maintenance Required
I cannot imagine a soul apart from the body. And, I understand the dynamics of soul-attachment are not meant for me to know. But if I, my soul, am to float away up into the heavens upon whatever breeze that blows when I die, I would like to enjoy the ride with the body that I leave behind. There are those, perhaps many, who look forward to that day of detachment from disease, paralysis and fear that inhabits the corporeal. Yet, what is this the Psalmist writes, God keeps alive and restores souls? Does this not change the yearning for moving along after death if maintenance is still required?
Next Door
I said, "In my childhood room I cried myself to sleep every night believing God was absent, not realizing that God was the room." She said, "And look at how many rooms you have in your house today." I added, "Though I tire myself out with the preponderance of dark thoughts and what seems to me to be their endless repetition." She said, "You do such a great job of taking the mystic's advice, greeting them at the door, laughing." I said, "Even the taste of laughter in my mouth turns bitter with the sorrow on the face of my neighbor." She said, "Kiss me, so I can taste it and then we can make brownies together and take them next door to share."
“But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go.” – John 21:18
God who draws us out of the waters and leads us across the land, the shape of our lives blurs as meanings grow dim and the birds no longer sing in the light of the mornings. We cry, This is not of our own doing, and we pray, Lead us not into temptation, but we hold out our hands anyway to be bound by that which is greater than us...but not you. Free us once again. Amen.
No Longer Human
One day we go to the bathroom and fifty years later we tell horror stories of how the tank malfunctioned and flooded the entire house. Today, "God restoreth my soul," while on countless earlier days children of the steppes and plains were run over by marauders. Our stampeding and pillaging is more subtle now: a morning paper and the news that capture tales of destruction and woe. We pour the blood of our neighbor out like water, drinking other's pain to satisfy our need for delight in the present moment. I grimace when someone calls for humans to evolve into being more human. Do they not know we would no longer be human?
A Bathroom Break
When my Uncle was nine years old he visited a friend's house. While there he excused himself to go to the bathroom. He noticed a type of tank he had never encountered before: the tank was above the toilet and had a chain hanging down. My uncle pulled the chain, gently at first. Nothing happened. A second pull, slightly stronger. Nothing happened. Finally, a third great yank...and...WHOOSH! My uncle ran out the bathroom yelling, "I didn't do it!" After he told this story, and with my daughters still giggling at the dinner table, I asked my uncle if he went to the bathroom afterwards. He replied, "What do you mean? I went in my pants."
Known in Dreams
Sanctuary began this morning when the first drop of dew formed under the temple eaves, offering a sense of beginning without entering the holy of holies. Throughout the world little men prepare for the day by placing stones on the ground, perfect for unthought people who seek to throw first without reaching. The entrance to the silver mine at the edge of town has been closed, as nothing of value has been found in those depths for persons to enrich their looks or their lives. A sense of beginning establishes itself in the interior space behind the purple curtain where the high priest goes to ask for divine intervention on behalf of the people. And the people awaken once again with sleep in their eyes and a lightness to their steps stirring beyond the rooms of intimating walls where once they had only known themselves in dreams.
The Light I Forget
There is a light I forget to turn off each time I leave the basement. It is as if another lived down there; a person to which I extend a common courtesy. Perhaps in my mind I see them reading a book in my favorite chair in the corner, sitting how my grandfather always sat, right leg crossed over left and the newspaper open on his lap. Perhaps I fail to extinguish the glow from above somehow aware that to do so might shorten the memory lingering in the air.
How My Life Passes
I bow my head to breathe, only for a moment, raise it and the light has changed. This is how my life passes; moments of inspiration in the midst of the movement of seasons. The cardinal forages at dawn at the base of the maple tree before singing in the branches above. A daughter in search of a dream adventures off to Africa, never to return home again. One poet writes about moving "in the along" whereas I seek for a place in the in-between.
Many Waters
I said, "I awoke this morning believing waves are caused by dolphins." She said, "If those waves don't drown us, we can all play together at the water fountain park." I asked, "Which do you like more: slides, pools or jets of water intermittently hurling out of nowhere?" She answered, "I like it most when my expectations are disastrously too low." I remembered, "King David once wrote of how God draws us out of many waters." She thought aloud, "I wonder what the many waters may be."