The vanishing disquiet of my heart reminds me of the sacraments I missed long ago; replaced with sacred moments different from the last. Others may look upon how I search for the symbolic and say, "It just didn't work well," but we never came to any agreement on anything where protecting our own wishes, desires and dreams mattered. How can you tell if people are not interested? How many bad looks does it take before the fascination of slowly coming together becomes, and even overcomes, anything folded into two parts laying next to one another?
Come, let us make futures for one another. Without our knowing the snow will turn to rain again And back to snow again. If all we know of delight comes from our wishing for what we deserve or even desire then being in the presence of the one that loves will be more than enough again. Imagine being the only guest for one another after meeting for the first time and then to meet again in some present future where the rain turns to snow and back again.
I said, "I have decided to give my life the title 'Extreme Experiments.'" She said, "Funny, I don't consider myself extreme or experimental." I said, "But you have given me the possibility to recognize a grander perspective." She smiled. "Two people. Peculiar lives. Some shared space and time spent in each other's arms makes all the difference." I smiled, too. "I had no idea this conversation was going to turn into a love letter." She said, "As one brilliant mind wrote, 'We complex people cannot retreat to blockish simplicities.'"
God of bits and pieces, God of the whole, who allows the length of time to pass unabated; gather up the remnants leftover from forgotten meals; mend the fragments fallen from our hands; unite the untidy workings of our minds; for we are caught up in the little we have here and in the little we have there. Amen.
An incredible encounter of tingling minds, inspiring both to move beyond flirtatious eye-play to a deep place of wanting to know and to be known. Distance and separation between events during this time drive despair of not being physically close away as fear of severing any relationship dissipates. Initiative to share the same experience rests on the intensity of always returning together again from being lost to the other as great events happen during evenings.
Knifing my way around the edge of the sqaure pan of brownies, I say, "Everyone wants the middle piece." She says, "I am not a middler," while grabbing two inches of crisp edge. I grab one whole side of edge, "A perfect relationship is found in sharing." She smiles, "We both love the edge." I say, "And eat the middle if there is room." She declares, "There is always room in the middle between us."
Washing dishes I hear the piano - or - is it the sound of vibrating strings, - or - the meeting of felt and wound steel? From the tenderness of notes - it must be - the slight pressing of your fingertips on ivory. - Those same fingertips - - curled - - resting - - on my chest - an hour ago before you awoke.
"Take your time with the one you love while avoiding the sucking rush of the vacuumer of souls. For Death is the only one who waits at the end of that vicious pull." She said, "There you go again. Turning a romcom into a tragedy." I paused and said, "The only good thing to come out of constantly being disappointed is becoming good at assuaging the disappointment in others." She said, patting the cushion, "Come. Sit back down. Here. Next to me." I said, "The world is full of roles and a role is but a gesture in time." She said, "Some say love is like a rose. Leave your thorns in the kitchen. Petal me."
Cultivate a willingness to increase your imagination of surprise for the possibilities we create in each other. Standing in the middle of a dormant winter garden the location of carefully arranged bulbs planted over seasons and years and ages remains unknown until the work of the sun. We are each other’s god. And, like god, neglected.
1. Fear of crossing bridges; the shivers set off by setting a foot on an object suspended in space; man-made or natural. 2. A bridge moves one moment to the next. 3. Unexpected language draws attention to places where creativity opens up vulnerability. Add another chair to the table of conversation between your self and your desires. Share the ancient triangle of ethos, logos and pathos to avoid annihilation of the other. The true alchemy of humans is playing with perspective when new traditions come from unlearning old traditions. 4. Build bridges with words, mindful of language for different audiences. 5. Those who cannot remember beyond birth are orphaned at birth.