Continue to look through the Complacency created by Ache-Covering Consumerism and Beyond the Announcements that offer Delights for All Ages while the Big Imperative roots around in commercial Offerings caught between the First Half of Life and the Last Step into the Tomb where all wait in Hope for some Miracle to motivate Modern Man to leave Nothing below and Go willingly into the Wilderness.
I said, "It is our cravings that best postulate the divine." She said, "My, my, look who awoke as a theologian this morning." I said, "And underneath desire for fulfillment are the wants and needs that I accumulated from my dreams." She yawned, "I prefer the simple upward look to the skies at night to feel what I am missing and what I yearn for." I asked, "Are you suggesting that the very idea of God is not a miracle of our own thought?" She answered, "Yes and no and I am thinking of how wonderful it will be to fill this space with the smell of cinnamon rolls."
Giver of all blessed thoughts both helpful and cursed, our cravings eat us up; feed us a new way; for in our emptiness we acquire what is not our own and hold it close to what we think is our heart; and the pounding we feel is not the beat of life but the sound of our own steps running away from our chance to become holy. Amen.
Tears dropped in the wilderness clear a space for the fertile craving to return home. Not much changes from year to year; perhaps the peace of some small movement into what used to be a dark space surprises us. We ask, What was that all about? A time for suffering to mark all suffering in the desert? Our gifts create temptation and there is a difference between being loved and loving and looking at a loved one standing beyond the bright surrounding sunlight.
I return to writing these poems not knowing what words mean; written in journals decades old or unveiling themselves new on even brighter screens. I do know that I disagree with the notion that birth is an exile from some culminating experience meant to last into the infinite. Is G*d any less of a G*d after the death of anyone? Or, do the dance steps of the G*ds become more frenzied as a birth nears? I pause in my walk and count those tender sounds tapping out the letters to the word c-a-u-t-i-o-n.
birth, a forced exile into the land of asking, why?
Feelings of the adversary weave tapestries in unknown colors throughout history only to be displayed on museum walls as tales remembered from another time. The Master wishes to continue life tomorrow before the sun rises advancing the match begun the day before where the black and white pieces on the board make up a fragment of the landscape. Many prayers said in the same room yearn for peace and warmth to become immanent and for laughter to grow at the laughter of others regardless of chosen contexts. Life would be easier if the unknown uncovered itself from tirelessly sleeping under a thin blanket covering sameness and oneness threatening all with an assortment of exiles where tears become a craving to return home.
I said, "I believe in my beliefs shaped by the path I have walked between mountains and across meadows." She looked up from her book and said, "What have you been reading so late into the night?" I said, "The pinched nerve in my neck is killing me so I have been reading about near-death experiences." She said, "Perhaps you should dwell on more than the single-mindedness that results from a maddening pain." I said, "Can't you see that I am seeing crooked holding my neck at a precarious angle to life the whole day long?" She said, "Come. Lay your head on my breast so that you fit with me exactly how you are and I will ease your pain."
A drawn rainbow shimmers on the page, orange, green and blue, under a scribbled rain. A snowman holds up its arms, wearing a black hat and purple scarf, smiling. Pictures exchanged by sisters, taped to a page long ago,
Rather than Work - let us talk rainbows - no - not talk but throw colors on paper never seen before - so that even the eyes of the little ones go wide - such a display and no amount of Labor - nor work at the highest wage - could bring down from the Heavens - the perfect crescent kaleidoscope